The DavidCyrus Blog of Wisdom

Silence of the Lambs- Day Three
Someone's gonna get slaughtered before this is over

The silence is deafening. Nobody at the White House wants to talk about anything remotely having to do with the CIA, Karl Rove, Niger, yellowcake, or for that matter, any spies named "Valerie". After two days of using the tried-and-true "stony stare", Bush finally mixed it up a bit, and revealed the following:

"We're in the midst of an ongoing investigation and I will be more than happy to comment further once the investigation is completed."

"That should buy us eight to twelve months," Bush hoped.

So, in the meantime, what should they talk about instead? You can almost imagine George Bush, sweat beading on his upper lip, briskly dragging his fingers through his own hair, mumbling, "What can we say that'll take the focus off of this secret agent thing?" I'm sure he considered asking Karl Rove what to do, but then remembered that no one is allowed to speak to, with, or about him. No, he'd have to come up with this solution himself.

His Answer: A Budget Surplus! "That's what we need, by golly; now how can we finagle the data to suggest that we're back in the money?" wondered Bush.

All that needed to be done is to tout the misrepresented fact that this year's budget deficit is not going to be as bad as last year's (the reigning record holder in overspending). It looks like it will only be the 3rd worst budget deficit ever. Sure, predicting the 3rd worst deficit ever isn't exactly tidings of great joy, but remember, we're doing better than last year!

...and all it took for this minor economic miracle to come true is for $173 billion to be taken from the Social Security surplus, and used to hide the actual bloated value of the fiscal 2005 deficit of over $400 billion.

Is this the same Administration that has been trying to tell us that Social Security is going bankrupt? Where, then, did the Social Security Trust Fund suddenly come up with an unneeded $173 billion?

If you are wondering whether the costs for the War on Terror are included in the budget, there's more good news! Bush plans to spend less than $40 billion in Iraq in fiscal 2006. Apparently, after two and a half years of spending nearly $100 billion dollars a year over there, we can expect to cut that cost by 60% next year. Maybe we've found a wholesale dealer (could it be Niger?) for depleted uranium shells, which, ironically, happen to be a main cause in the skyrocketing number of US veterans needing medical treatment.

Well, if the great budget news doesn't lull you into a sleepy dream of happiness, there's always Bush's latest enigmatic statement about the Supreme Court nomination at hand, stating that he would consider nominating a woman or someone with no experience as a judge to replace retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

I'm already laying bets that it's either gonna be Condi or Bush's mom.