The DavidCyrus Blog of Wisdom

Gun Nuts Want To Shoot First- Legally!
Florida's Governor Bush thinks it's a great idea

There once was a time when a citizen had to make an effort to avoid gunplay in public. Gun-wielding vigilantes couldn't, for instance, shoot a loitering hobo simply because he looked dangerous.

But Florida lawmakers were uncomfortable with that situation. "What if someone is threatening you?", they pondered. "Shouldn't you be allowed to shoot them? Maybe they're not even threatening you; what if you just "perceive" them as a threat? Is it OK to gun them down if they seem threatening?"

Apparently, they believe it is- the AP reports that Florida lawmakers are considering allowing residents to open fire whenever they see a threat. Governor Bush supports the idea and calls it, "...a good, common-sense, anticrime issue."

I haven't reviewed the proposed law in detail, but neither have the millions of Florida gun owners who have now heard of our new open-season on "Threats". I am sure they are planning to interpret the law in a much simpler manner than the lawmakers may intend, specifically, "If it bothers me, shoot it!"

Maybe the ruling will be used to justify shoot-outs on Florida highways. Swerving vehicles, tailgaters, and even annoying drivers who use their high-beam too close for your liking are really sources of danger on the road, and could be perceived as threats to your safety, correct? Let's save some lives, and blast those threats out of the passing lane!

How about drunk people leaving a bar, walking toward their car? Driving drunk is certainly a threat to other drivers, why not just knock 'em off in the parking lot before anybody gets hurt?

Even people who exceed the posted speed limit are really driving dangerously, and threatening our safety. The quicker we kill those speeding drivers, the sooner the roads become safe.

People who don't recycle could be judged as threats to the environment, and shot on sight. Sports fans who disparage another team too strongly might have to worry about gunfire returning from the opposing team's fans. Certainly, sports teams all perceive each other as threats- even the sportscasters say so. Professional football games could be resolved shortly after the coin toss, as team members all draw pistols, and the last man standing wins the game.

Is the insanity of using deadly force to attack imagined threats the best legacy our cowboy leader can trickle-down to the states? Perhaps he's proven that shooting first delivers no downside- all you really need to justify violence is a "perceived threat". No real threat is ever needed.

It seems to have worked for Bush in Iraq- now Jeb is asking us to try it in Florida. Be careful on who you side with on this issue; you may be perceived as a threat.