The DavidCyrus Blog of Wisdom

Bush Condemns Social Security as a Racist Scam
...and by his logic, so are annuities

President Bush is pushing hard these days for a re-vamp to Social Security. Nobody knows why. The Republicans don't think it's an important issue, and the Democrats have shown that, as usual, the situation is far from the crisis that Bush proclaims.

His newest strategy is to search for a new support group for his privateering strategy. Target: Old Black People. His plan? Tell them that Social Security is short-changing old black people. His logic? It seems that black people average a shorter life span than Americans in general. Therefore, they aren't living long enough to get an equitable benefit from Social Security. In other words, they are being short-changed.

Please note that a dead person no longer requires support from Social Security, and the current system in no way mandates that blacks must die sooner than the average lifespan. It would be fair to expect the President to be a bit more concerned about the fact that blacks DO die earlier than the average, instead of trying to convince them that Social Security is short-changing them on the way to the cemetery.

"You see, " you can almost hear Bush saying, "Let's forget about the fact that medical treatment and healthy meals are less available to blacks. Let's ignore the fact that unemployment is higher and company-paid medical benefits are lower for blacks. The important thing is that you won't get any Social Security money if you die too soon!"

Social security is therefore racist (according to Bush logic). Likewise, other forms of benefits, payouts, or fees that factor in a generic lifespan must be racist as well. Annuities, which pay out a percentage return until the holder's death, are racist. 20-year payouts for lottery winners are racist as well, because blacks are more likely to never receive the whole payout, by dieing sooner. "Free Brakes for Life", if based on the driver's lifespan, is racist. Lifetime memberships in clubs and associations are racist. Lifetime guarantees on hand tools, if available only to the original owner, are racist. Heck, even marriages are racist; blacks aren't getting an equal share of matrimony, because their untimely departures end their marriages too soon.

I can't wait to hear what Bush proposes as the fix for this so-called racial inequity in Social Security. Maybe he's planning to kick all blacks off of Social Security, for their own good. "They just couldn't see how bad a deal they were gettin'!", he might say.

No- I'm sure they are perfectly aware just how bad a deal they are getting, Mr. President. We all are.