Monday, July 26, 2004
DavidCyrus Press Presents "Coulter- Out of Her Element"
USA Today found Ann Coulter's opening day essay on the 2004 Democratic convention, "unusable" and "not funny". Harsh words, particularly because her columns always seem to be usable and humorous, if only to illustrate an unintended point.
In the interest of fair play, let's take a look at her thoughts (I am assuming "WorldNet Daily" immediately scooped up the rejected writings).
From a quick review, I can identify:
(a) A damning curse, labeling Democrats, "...the Spawn of Satan" within her first six words.
(b)"...cops don't like Democrats," ...which is news to the Fraternal Order of Police, who endorsed President Clinton.
(c) Pretty girls don't like liberal boys, because they don't make moves on you without U.N. approval, and because they drive hybrid cars. As such, the jeep-driving rapists of the Iraqi resistance must be her romantic dream dates.
(d) The level of respect a person deserves can be identified by a simple question: "Can they run a 7/11 store for eight hours?" I am not making this up- apparently Coulter believes that the only true patriots and aldermen of our society are working the neighborhood 7/11.
I am now only seven short paragraphs into her ramblings, and I am already confused by her message. Did she actually listen to any speeches? Does she have any substance in her chatter? My theory is, the sheer volume of people disagreeing with her, pressing in on her personal space, must have caused her to revert to a "happier time", back to college sorority days, when the pretty girls all shared the same vacuously naive opinion. "Look, there's Muffy now! She would never support women's rights in Middle Eastern countries- they don't even wear make-up over there; how can they call themselves 'women'? Muffy! Over here!! <Ann deploys a secret hand signal, much like... (in her own words), "...gay men do.">
I will bet even wagers that Coulter cracks wide open, and departs the convention a bewildered, hapless simpleton, before it's all over. She only has to leave early for me to win this one.
USA Today found Ann Coulter's opening day essay on the 2004 Democratic convention, "unusable" and "not funny". Harsh words, particularly because her columns always seem to be usable and humorous, if only to illustrate an unintended point.
In the interest of fair play, let's take a look at her thoughts (I am assuming "WorldNet Daily" immediately scooped up the rejected writings).
From a quick review, I can identify:
(a) A damning curse, labeling Democrats, "...the Spawn of Satan" within her first six words.
(b)"...cops don't like Democrats," ...which is news to the Fraternal Order of Police, who endorsed President Clinton.
(c) Pretty girls don't like liberal boys, because they don't make moves on you without U.N. approval, and because they drive hybrid cars. As such, the jeep-driving rapists of the Iraqi resistance must be her romantic dream dates.
(d) The level of respect a person deserves can be identified by a simple question: "Can they run a 7/11 store for eight hours?" I am not making this up- apparently Coulter believes that the only true patriots and aldermen of our society are working the neighborhood 7/11.
I am now only seven short paragraphs into her ramblings, and I am already confused by her message. Did she actually listen to any speeches? Does she have any substance in her chatter? My theory is, the sheer volume of people disagreeing with her, pressing in on her personal space, must have caused her to revert to a "happier time", back to college sorority days, when the pretty girls all shared the same vacuously naive opinion. "Look, there's Muffy now! She would never support women's rights in Middle Eastern countries- they don't even wear make-up over there; how can they call themselves 'women'? Muffy! Over here!! <Ann deploys a secret hand signal, much like... (in her own words), "...gay men do.">
I will bet even wagers that Coulter cracks wide open, and departs the convention a bewildered, hapless simpleton, before it's all over. She only has to leave early for me to win this one.
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