The DavidCyrus Blog of Wisdom

DavidCyrus Press Presents "Coulter- Out of Her Element"

USA Today found Ann Coulter's opening day essay on the 2004 Democratic convention, "unusable" and "not funny". Harsh words, particularly because her columns always seem to be usable and humorous, if only to illustrate an unintended point.

In the interest of fair play, let's take a look at her thoughts (I am assuming "WorldNet Daily" immediately scooped up the rejected writings).

From a quick review, I can identify:
(a) A damning curse, labeling Democrats, "...the Spawn of Satan" within her first six words.
(b)"...cops don't like Democrats," ...which is news to the Fraternal Order of Police, who endorsed President Clinton.
(c) Pretty girls don't like liberal boys, because they don't make moves on you without U.N. approval, and because they drive hybrid cars. As such, the jeep-driving rapists of the Iraqi resistance must be her romantic dream dates.
(d) The level of respect a person deserves can be identified by a simple question: "Can they run a 7/11 store for eight hours?" I am not making this up- apparently Coulter believes that the only true patriots and aldermen of our society are working the neighborhood 7/11.

I am now only seven short paragraphs into her ramblings, and I am already confused by her message. Did she actually listen to any speeches? Does she have any substance in her chatter? My theory is, the sheer volume of people disagreeing with her, pressing in on her personal space, must have caused her to revert to a "happier time", back to college sorority days, when the pretty girls all shared the same vacuously naive opinion. "Look, there's Muffy now! She would never support women's rights in Middle Eastern countries- they don't even wear make-up over there; how can they call themselves 'women'? Muffy! Over here!! <Ann deploys a secret hand signal, much like... (in her own words), "...gay men do.">

I will bet even wagers that Coulter cracks wide open, and departs the convention a bewildered, hapless simpleton, before it's all over. She only has to leave early for me to win this one.

Fahrenheit 9/11 Hits $100 Million...
...but that won't make Michael Moore a Cabinet member in November.

While viewing Fahrenheit 9/11 on its opening weekend, I was filled with mixed feelings.
Feeling #1: Uneasiness.  Will the movie do the topic justice?
Feeling #2: Eagerness.  ...in anticipation of buried facts concerning the Iraq war.
Feeling #3: Confusion.  The movie jumped around a bit.  It didn't focus on critical topics long enough to digest their importance.
Feeling #4: Skepticism.  At one point, Moore narrated a line stating that Iraq has never murdered a single American.  Moore's definition of "murder" isn't provided, but obviously, plenty of Americans have died at the hands of Iraqi soldiers and citizens.
Feeling #5: Admiration.  Overall, the movie was well planned, produced and timed for release.  Its popularity quickly caught the attention of theater owners.  Theater houses showing the movie jumped from 800 on opening night to over 2000 in the next few weeks.  Over ten million moviegoers have seen it, and the number may reach twenty million.

Does this make Michael Moore a hero?  Not really- much of his information was already common knowledge, and some of his innuendos were unfair and unsupported.  The bigger the movie gets, the more people will believe that it represents the "heart and soul" of everything that is anti-Bush.  That can't be helped- the movie would have had to be a perfect documentary to not be torn apart by Bush supporters.

Many who support the message hesitate in crowning Moore as their leader.  Kerry and Edwards have both distanced themselves from the movie.  Ellen Goodman's recent essay, describing the new "dog eat dog" left versus right mentality, wonders if giving the Right wing a "taste of its own medicine" is truly therapeutic for the nation.

It's a bit like having your cake and eating it, too.  I am sure there are as many ardent Moore supporters as there are Bush supporters, each swearing, "I wholly support my champion's ideals, but not his methods."  Moore himself does not plan to go quietly into that good night, and has apparently invited himself to the Democratic convention.  While a hint of unfair play may now be in the air, and although it behooves us to forsake means that are justified by the ends they achieve, I can't help but to dismiss sorting out these misgivings until after November.

Where Did the Oil-For-Food Money Go?

It's common knowledge that the oppressive regime in control of Iraq had siphoned billions of dollars from the UN's Oil-For-Food program.  What's surprising is that it happened over the past two years, and the "regime" is Haliburton.

To read more of this story, you may have to register with the NY Times online website

Comparing Entertainers and Minnesotans; Who's Really Got Heart & Soul?

The Republican Right is up in arms about John Kerry's praise to entertainers at a recent fund raiser in New York. George W. Bush's recent statements in Duluth, Minnesota criticize John Kerry's praise that the entertainers represent the heart and soul of America.

Bush says the heart and soul is found in places like Duluth. Dismiss this as a campaign cliche if you will, but I wanted to take a look at the make-up of Duluth, to see just what Bush is calling America's heart and soul.

Would it have a wide mix of diversity? Apparently no- Duluth is over 92% White, with only 1.6% Black, and 1.1% Hispanic.

Maybe Duluth holds an employment and/or crime record that embodies the heart and soul of America. No again. Duluth averaged 5.8% unemployment for the first five months of 2004, higher than the national average of 5.6% for the same period.

Perhaps the crime in Duluth is a beacon of America's heart and soul? Nope- Duluth has a markedly poorer crime index than the national average, and stands out particularly in the "Forcible Rape" category, with the poor women (and men) of Duluth suffering nearly 85% more rapes than the national average.

So what is Bush saying with his "heart and soul" proclamation? Why use the brand of "heart and soul" on a town that is overwhelmingly white and has a failing of excessive forced sex? I, for one, would prefer a drunken Whoopie Goldberg as my "Heart and Soul" representative, if the alternative is something akin to the Skull & Bones fraternity.

In Case You Misunderstood The First Time

"Our position is firm, unchanged and committed to our previous finding," said Roemer, a former congressman from Indiana. "We have not discovered collaboration-cooperation between al-Qaida and Iraq in general terrorist activities across the world, against the United States."

Another Quick Limbaugh Lie...

Rush Limbaugh loves to exaggerate. Like today, when he stated on the air, and on his website:

"...94% of the black population votes for the Democrat candidate every four years"

While it's true that blacks are typically more supportive of the workers' rights, social equality, and equal opportunity stances that form a strong base for the Democratic party platform, can we really believe Rush's numbers? 94%?? That's quite an exact number- he must have some data to back it up, right?

Wrong. Data from the National Coalition on Black Civic Participation, as well as the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies provides election demographics for the years 1996 and 2000, showing that blacks voted for the Democratic candidate 84% and 90%, respectively.

I have to assume that Rush can perform the same level of simple research on voter demographics that I can, before making his statistical claims about election results. Why lie about these figures? Who really knows why Rush does anything. But his disdain for Democrats, as well as his intentional exaggerations of black voting preferences, show a trend for hasty generalizations and prejudicial stereotyping that are the hallmark of his personal core beliefs.

Limbaugh has a bit of fun suggesting that Kerry pick Donovan McNabb as his VP candidate. So here's my in kind retort:

Q: What is the only reason Colin Powell isn't a vice-presidential candidate for the 2004 election?

A: John Kerry didn't ask him.

The sad truth about this joke is that even Republicans are laughing at it, for all the wrong reasons.

Van Halen's "Eruption" (on violin)

If you remember Van Halen's 1st album, you remember "Eruption", the song that created a cult of worshipping mullet-haired Eddie van Halen wannabe's. Eddie's fast fingerwork on the fret could never be topped...

...until now. Bobby Yang pays homage to the artist and song, on the violin!

Latest WMD Discovery (..same as it ever was)

War enthusiasts have been griping over the lack of media coverage given to discoveries of WMD's in Iraq. Perhaps it's because these discoveries have an unerring record as mistakes.

Scene 1: Trumpeting of a significant WMD discovery: <article> Polish Army Finds WMD Artillery Shells

Scene 2: Two days later, a retraction: <article> Correction! Polish Army Found Empty Artillery Shells

This week's winner in the "Define 'Irony'" newsbit contest: "An attack with such weapons would be hard to imagine," says "mortified" Gen. Marek Dukaczewski after Polish troops and military intelligence <mistakenly believe they> find the deadly nerve agent cyclosarin in Iraq.

My question is, suppose we do find some chemical or biological weapons in Iraq. At this point, how can we be sure who put them there?

Saddam Back In Iraq (..and hopping mad at Kuwait??)

An interesting account of the preliminary hearing of Saddam Hussein. The Iraqi judge remained calm through most of Saddam's claims of being the "President of Iraq". However, it apparently went too far when Saddam called Kuwaitees "...dogs", which earned Saddam an admonishment by the judge.

The charges against Saddam are curious. They include charges of gassing Kurds in 1988, and invading Kuwait in 1990. If co-conspirators and accomplices are brought into the trial, this could have a profound effect on our current U.S. administration. Sample trial dialog follows:

"Mr. Hussein, where did you obtain the weapons that you used against the Kurds?"

"Mr. Hussein, who was providing the Kurds and Shiites their tools for revolution in 1991?"

"Did you ever check with the U.N. or any government representatives to see if your invasion of Kuwait would be a concern to the U.S. or the rest of the world?"

I'm wondering if Donald Rumsfeld will be called as a character witness for Saddam, or as a witness for the prosecution.