Saturday, May 08, 2010
As SNL Characters Go, I'm OK With This
...already working on my Garth costume.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Worst Beer in the World
I was fooled; learn from my mistake
The worst beer in the world is Terrapin Rye Pale Ale.
You wouldn't know it by the bottle, label, price, or its reputation. It uses a nice dark brown bottle (good for preserving beer taste) and the traditional pry-top cap. It's not a Global-International-Beverage-Conglomerate-Brew, rather, it's made out of a small brewery in Athens Georgia; the same town gave us the B-52s. The whole brewery has a Grateful Dead theme to it. That's where their name "Terrapin" comes from- the Grateful Dead's 1977 album Terrapin Station, which is arguably the Grateful Dead's only true progressive/art rock-style album.The beer itself has won numerous awards as "Pale Ale of the Year" and "Best Craft Brew". The votes are in. This beer's a winner, right?
Wrong.
The instant I popped the cap, I was shocked. I honestly thought the beer had gone bad sitting on the store shelf- because I was smelling an odd, sharp odor similar to overripe fruit, but less sweet. Something like a decaying plum, but without the flower.
That is apparently the signature scent of this beer, which happens to be made with rye. After realizing that the smell wasn't coming from raisins stuck inside my food disposal, I mentally tried to connect the smell with rye. However, I found it impossible to associate the smell with anything but noxious chemicals. I've had rye bread, and enjoyed toasted rye sandwiches often- but to get this kind of smell, you'd have to cram a slice of rye bread into a small glass of grapefruit juice, and let it sit under your sink for two weeks.
I tried to get past it, but this beer fills your nose with the sharp scent of rye upon each sip. I drank my first (and last) of this beer from a glass, so the brew had plenty of time to breathe. It never lost the ability to ruin each sip with a skunky odor, right to the very last sip.
But it's not over yet- if you happen to burp, you then have to relive the same experience of smelling rotten rye with your beer. The only similar experience I have had was when I literally smoked some chicken kabobs over charcoal soaked in lighter fluid, and then burped the taste of kerosene for the next twelve hours.
The beer was not old. The label informed me that this beer was, "Best if enjoyed by May, Week 4." No, this is apparently what the brewmaster had in mind. The home website markets it as, “…a complex flavor.”
If that’s beer complexity, then I’m a minimalist. But I’m not a minimalist when it comes to beer. I enjoy all types of lagers and ales.
Not this one. Which is too bad, since it’s the only selection available locally from Terrapin Brewery.
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Blind Eye of Healthcare Opposition
Selective protests show true colors
It's always a War, when it comes to the Rippups.
A War on Drugs, a War on Terror, a War on Christmas... that's how conflicts are supposed to be addressed, according to the Red State doctrine.
Now, it's a War on Health. Let's face it- anybody who thinks that all Americans shouldn't be offered reasonable healthcare, is really waging a battle against America's health.
I do understand how the citizenry can be upset when a President concocts an expensive healthcare plan, and his party majorities in both houses of Congress attempt to steamroll a huge healthcare entitlement through Congress. Surely, some Conservatives think programs like Medicare and Medicaid don’t need to be expanded, …and whenever these kind of bills end up costing the people somewhere around $1.2 trillion over ten years, people have a right to oppose it.
What I don’t understand is why nobody was protesting the President when this happened.
In 2003.
Bush's Medicare prescription drug benefit.
Check it out, Tea Partiers; we’ve been here before, and you thought it was grand.
Why so serious now?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
How Many Drinks Does It Take?
Apparently, the result of this calculation is the number of your selected drinks that you need to consume, in a three hour period, to die.
Take your result, subtract one from it, and use your new result as a safety guide- Don't drink more than that number!!
Labels: How many drinks does it take to kill you?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Pug Problems
How many is too many?
My wife brought home an eleven-week-old pug today. I blame myself. She had asked me if I wanted to go look at pugs for sale with her, and I had declined. If I had been there, this never would have happened.
We already have one pug in the family. That one currently resides with my son at college. We see her (the pug) whenever he comes home from school, which is enough pug face-to-face for my needs. Having foster-cared that dog for a year, I think I've put in my time.
The new pug cost $500. Neutering is not included in the price, nor is any future costs (did you know that pugs can be a fairly unhealty breed, requiring frequest vet visits?)
I'm not going to let it happen again. We've owned ten dogs over the years. I've been involved in the selection of two of them. Although I stomp my feet and make everybody vow that I will not be involved in the dog's care and/or wellbeing, that vow may last a week before I'm the one scrubbing the carpets.
This dog is not staying. I'm serious.
Friday, January 02, 2009
2008 Review in 40 Seconds
In lieu of an annual Christmas letter
One year in 40 seconds from Eirik Solheim on Vimeo.
Someone has taken the time to capture daily pics of what looks like a rural Pennsylvanian backyard. 2008 didn't seem to go quite this fast, but it made me wish we could slow down time's passage.
Monday, December 29, 2008
1999 Lexus RX300 Won't Start?
Try this before you tow it to a dealer
One of the most wonderful Christmas presents we've ever received was a 1999 Lexus RX300.
It was given to us just when a family car was truly needed, and has served us well. It is not, however, without its own costs. Parts and labor on a Lexus can be expensive, so when the car has some trouble, I try to apply my limited mechanical knowledge toward fixing it at home on the cheap.
The latest trouble was perplexing. I could not get the car started. Turning the key would strongly crank the motor, and occasionally the engine would catch and rev for a half-second, but then it always died. Pumping the gas pedal did nothing.
During the work week we had to abandon the Lexus for our utilitarian Pontiac Sunfire, and we heard reports from our son that the Lexus had started right up for him. However, upon returning from work, it was the same old story for me- Dead On Arrival.
I gave it one last try this past Saturday. Upon advice from friends and Internet forums, I removed the air intake hose and squirted carburetor cleaner into the throttle body, hoping that this would loosen up a stuck "something". The Lexus still refused to start, so I called AAA for a tow to our local Lexus dealer for service.
When the tow truck arrived, the driver seemed to be one of those experienced mechanics that enjoyed diagnosing car trouble without lifting the hood. At least, that was the attitude he radiated to me as he approached the Lexus. "What seems to be the trouble?" he half-quipped. I had fully explained my situation to AAA and to his towing garage, over the phone a half hour before; he seemed to be taunting me.I was holding the spare key that we would use to take the car out of Park, so instead of explaining, I hopped into the drivers seat to give him a demonstration. The Lexus started right up and purred like a well-oiled Japanese luxury SUV. Stunned, I turned it off, retried, and vroom! Once again, it started flawlessly. Embarrassed, I sent him away, but I still wanted to get the car checked out, even knowing it would cost a premium at the dealer. Further advice had told me to (a) purchase and add STP engine treatment, (b) fill up the tank with Super-Premium gasoline, from Mobil (who apparently use the best gas filters) and (c) keep the engine running throughout this process.
After all this was done, the car seemed cured. I waited a few hours to recheck, and low and behold, suddenly it wasn't starting again. Talk about dashed hopes.
But now I was suspicious. Why was this car randomly alternating between easy and impossible starting schemes? The only thing that was changing between attempts was the driver, the time of day, ...or maybe the car keys? Was that it?
The key was the key. The plastic housing surrounding my Lexus key had recently broken, and I had taped the housing tight with aluminum duct tape. This taped key was the only one of our set of three that couldn't start the car. After peeling off the tape, the key now starts the car fine.
I have no additional information to explain why this worked, other than what I've written above. Go Figure.
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